


Who Knew They Could Be My Salvation

by GazDibMama



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Original Character Death(s), Recreational Drug Use, Teen Jax, Teen Tara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 07:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GazDibMama/pseuds/GazDibMama
Summary: Set way, way, pre-series. Tara leaves for the summer and Jax and SAMCRO end up picking up the pieces of Tara's best friend's shattered life.(Awful summary, I know.)





	1. Chapter One:  Charming High School May 31, 1996 –Last Day of School

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so apparently I am an evil liar. Work is still progressing on other stories, but the first four chapters of this came in one three hour burst in the middle of the night last night, and upon re-reading it this am, I liked it and felt the need to share. There are a couple more chapters that are kind of written, I was starting to nod off, so there's a lot of gibberish that I need to decipher, but I thought I'd see what y'all thought.
> 
> As always, no beta's here. All mistakes are mine.

The bell for first period had already rung and Tara had given him a kiss before heading inside to her class. Jax was still standing outside, smoking a cigarette, not caring if he was late. After today he’d never be coming back here again. Gemma had finally okayed him getting his GED since he’d gotten his prospect patch on his seventeenth birthday about six weeks ago.

As he was finishing his smoke, an older Honda wagon pulled into a visitor’s parking space. He chuckled as Becca McAllister climbed out. She was in her usual outfit of a short shorts over tights with combat boots. Today she was wearing a Nirvana t-shirt. Her short burgundy hair was in a faux-hawk today, and while he couldn’t see her eyes, her lips were the same color as her hair. 

Even though he loved Tara with all his heart, he was a guy, and he’d nursed a small crush on Tara’s sometime friend since before they were freshmen. While Tara was the good girl who studied hard to get good grades, Becca was kind of the opposite. She wasn’t really bad; it wasn’t like she was a bully or started fights, she just made it clear that she found the whole high school experience boring and was going to do her own thing. He found that more than a little attractive.

She lit a cigarette as she made her way to the building. When she reached him, she threw it down and stepped on it. He smirked at her. “Runnin’ late this mornin’ darlin’?”

She barely looked at him as she strode by, exhaling smoke. “Bite me, Teller. Shouldn’t you be on Tara’s heels like a good puppy?” Then walked into the building.

He sighed as he heard Opie laughing behind him. “Well, she’s in a good mood this morning.”

He laughed a little. “Be the first time in a week that she hasn’t just flipped me off. I think she’s starting to come around.” 

Opie shrugged. “Guess her and Tara are still on the outs, huh?”

He shrugged back. “Not really.” He had given up trying to figure that friendship out. The girls acted more like sisters than friends. Which meant they fought as often as they got along.

He turned to go into the building with Ope on his heels. They were immediately stopped by Principal Smithson, who had also stopped Becca. “Misters Teller and Winston. Seems like you two are taking a page from Miss McAllister’s book.” With the sunglasses off he could see that Becca was pretty high already. Or knowing her, still high from last night. And probably a little hung-over.

Smithson was still talking. “As it is the last day of school, I will show the three of you some mercy.” The small man gave a troll like smile. “But let’s make sure that we don’t have these problems next year. Now get to class.”

The three of them nodded and walked off. Ope broke away first, heading to towards the shop area for his first class. Both he and Becca had History as their first class. He quickened his pace to catch up with her. She still wasn’t speaking to him.

As he was getting ready to ask her what the hell was going on, they’d made it to their class. Walking in, Mr. O’Brien arched an eyebrow. “So you two are joining us today.”

Becca shot the man a smirk. “My breakfast date cancelled, so I figured why not.”

O’Brien nodded. “Lucky us. Take your seats.” The man had the vaguely amused tone of someone who was used to being Becca McAllister’s straight man. O’Brien was one of the many teachers who cut her slack because they knew whether she attended class or not, she could pass whatever test they gave her. She was bored, not stupid.

Both he and Becca went to their seats. Becca passed Brittany, who was one of the ‘popular’ girls. You know; cheerleader, dated the quarterback, and looked like she stepped out of a bad teen soap opera. And, as much as he hated to admit it, one of Tara's friends. When Tara was around the two ignored each other. Unfortunately, Tara wasn't in this class.

Under her breath Brittany poked at Becca. “Running late because you had to go get your Mom out of the loony bin again?” The girl’s voice so snide it made him clench his hands into fists. Becca’s Mom had serious mental health issues, serious enough to drive Becca’s dad away by the time they were nine. He could still remember the ass whooping that his Dad had given him when he’d made fun of it when he was ten. He’d understood when his brother died when he was twelve. He was lucky, his Mom hadn’t lost her mind; Becca’s mother had.

But as always, Becca was more than capable of taking the girl down a few pegs all on her own. “Nah, just too busy trying to get your boyfriend to leave Tyler alone.” Then smiled sweetly at the bleached blonde girl. “Is he always so handsy?”

He swallowed a laugh as Brittany turned red. There had been rumors that Britt’s boyfriend Quinn was gay and that Britt was just his cover. Tyler was a kid in the senior class who had transferred from St. Mary’s in Stockton a year and a half ago. He was gay and hid it from no one. Of course, Becca had taken him under her wing. Didn’t matter she was a sophomore at the time, anyone with half a brain tried to stay on her good side. She wasn’t violent, but had a tongue that could rip you to shreds if you weren’t careful.

Becca raised an eyebrow at the girl, who still hadn’t answered. “What I thought. You have no idea whether Quinn is handsy or not. Doesn’t it suck to have a boyfriend that has to pretend he likes to touch you? Or is he as much of a beard for you as you are for him?” Then turned to him and grinned. “Puts a whole new spin on those ‘closed’ cheerleading practices, doesn’t it?”

She was back to talking to him. He really needed to stop trying to figure out what made her blow so hot and cold with him. It took up way too much of his time. He grinned in return. “Sure does.” 

Brittany did exactly what Becca had wanted her to do. Turn around and ignore them.

Becca grinned at him and gave his shoulder a small shove. Her way of saying thanks.

He shook his head. He had literally known the girl since before kindergarten and he was no closer to understanding her now, after all these years.


	2. Chapter Two: Charming High School, May 31, 1996, - Last Day of School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch-time on the last day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, not beta'd. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> I should probably note that the underage tag is there simply because Jax, Tara, Opie and Becca are all seventeen at the beginning of this story.

He’d made it through the rest of his morning classes without walking out. Barely. After grabbing a sandwich from the cafeteria, he went out to the courtyard looking for Tara. Not seeing her yet, he walked over to the table that Becca and Tyler had staked out for themselves. While Becca and Tara were whatever they were, Becca and Tyler were thick as thieves, barely allowing anyone else to enter the bubble they erected around themselves at school. 

He sat down without asking. He’d find out soon enough if they were going to be allowed to sit with the two of them today. Becca just eyed him for a moment and then went back to her quiet conversation with Tyler. He shrugged, used to Becca acting like he wasn’t there. It was one of the times he felt like he fit in with the rest of the school.

He smiled as Tara walked up to the table, her tray with salad and juice on it. Becca looked up at her. “More rabbit food?” Then the girl gave his girlfriend a wicked grin. “You know Tara, if you’re having sex, you really need more protein in your diet. You know, for energy.” Then snickered. “Or maybe you get all the protein you need.” Wiggling her eyebrows as Tyler laughed.

He wasn’t sure who was redder, him or Tara. They’d only been having sex for the last couple of months and Tara had not done that to him yet, regardless of how he’d pleaded.

Becca laughed at them both. “Relax. Just yanking your chains.” Then she looked at Tara. “C’mon it’s the last day of school, in less than four hours, summer is officially underway. We have three months of all sorts of trouble to get into. Let your hair down.”

Tara frowned at the other girl. “Maybe for you guys. My Dad informed me this morning that first thing tomorrow morning, I’m going to my Grandma’s in San Diego for the next eight weeks.”

He gaped at her. She hadn’t even given him a clue that she was going to drop this bombshell. “When were you going to tell me? Tomorrow right before you left?” He was pissed. He’d been looking forward to all the time he and Tara could spend together with no school interrupting.

Tara put her head down. “I was going to tell you tonight.” 

He stood up. “Sure. Right when I drop you off so I can’t say or do anything other than just take it with a smile. I bet you didn’t even try to talk your Dad out of it.” Then he stood up and walked away before he really lost his temper.

He’d barely gotten a dozen steps away before he felt someone grab his arm. He spun around getting ready to shove whoever it was away, until he saw the blazing green eyes of Becca. “You just had to be the selfish, spoiled asshole you really are didn’t you Teller?”

They were nearly nose to nose and he didn’t back away. “She knew this morning and didn’t say a fucking word to me, just let me look like a total dick going on about plans for the two of us all summer. So, fuck you if that makes me a selfish asshole Becca.” Nearly spitting the words in her face.

The girl shook her head like he was stupidest person she had ever run across. “No, you’re the spoiled asshole because you think this about you, like you always do. Do you really think that Tara wants to go spend two months with her Grandma? This is her drunk ass Dad shedding his responsibility for a while. But you don’t know shit about that, do you? Your Mom and Step-Dad worship the fucking ground that SAMCRO’s prince walks on. So, excuse the rest of us who got stuck with fucked up parents.”

Then she turned on her heel and walked back to Tara who was obviously crying while Tyler sat there rubbing her back. He watched Becca put an arm around Tara and start talking in her ear.

He jumped a little as Ope came up behind him. “What d’ya do now?”

He sighed. “Found out Tara is leavin’ for her Grandma’s in the morning. To say I handled it wrong is an understatement.”

Ope slung an arm around his shoulder. “And let me guess, Becca ripped you a new one for it.” Ope shook his head. And for the second time in less than five minutes someone was looking at him like he was too stupid to exist. New record. And he had Gemma as a mother. “I’m goin’ to go find Donna. I’ll see you after school.”

He nodded. “Sure. Sounds like a plan.” He knew that Ope was going to avoid his fuck up for as long as possible.

Ope gave him a shove towards the table Tara was at. “Better go make that right if you still want a girlfriend by the end of the day.” Then his best friend walked off.

“Yeah.” Even though he didn’t want to, he knew Opie was right.

He walked back over and the three of them looked up at him. He felt awful at the tears that were still evident on his girl’s face. “I’m sorry Tara, I shouldn’t have been such a jerk. It’s not your fault, you can’t control what your Dad decides.”

Tara gave him a shaky smile and he felt himself relax again. “I shouldn’t have dropped it on you like that, I’m sorry too.”

Becca stood up. “Aww…this is so cute I may vomit. C’mon Tyler, let’s blow this popsicle stand. I think I’ve had enough of Charming High and its denizens for the year, how ‘bout you?”

Tyler grinned at her. “Oh hon, I think I’ve had enough for a lifetime. Let’s go.”

Tara looked at Becca. “Are you going to Lori’s year end party tonight?”

Becca looked at her like she was crazy. “Ummm…let’s see…go to party with all sorts of people that I would normally like to run over or go to Gilman and see bands with cute boys in ‘em.” She grinned at them. “Sorry babe, Gilman wins and Lori is the loser she’s always been. I’ll come by before you leave in the morning.” Then gave him another green- eyed glare. “You fuck up her last night here, I’ll fuck you up.” Then grabbed Tyler’s hand and the two of them split.

He looked at Tara. “What did I ever do to her?” His girlfriend looked confused. “One minute she’s telling me to go fuck myself and the next we’re buds, and the next she’s back to telling me to fuck off. I don’t get it.”

Tara shrugged. “That’s Becca. She was barely speaking to me last week and then today she takes your head off for hurting my feelings.” She laughed a little, and like always it warmed him. “I know she’s my friend and she loves me. I’m just not always sure she likes me.”

He shook his head. “That’s kind of fucked up you know that?” He shrugged. “Whatever.” He gave Tara a kiss. “So are you hell bent on Lori’s party tonight or can I convince you of something else after I’m done at church?”

Tara giggled a little. “How about a compromise? You meet me at Lori’s party after church and then we can go do something else.” Her smile was flirty and full of promise.

He grinned back. “I think that sounds like a reasonable compromise.” He kissed her again. “Meet you here after school? I’ll give you a ride home.”

Tara nodded while she was kissing him. When they finally broke apart, he was almost ready to ask Tara to follow Becca’s lead. Fuck this place and get on with the summer. But she was the good girl, so that wasn’t gonna happen. Every once in a while, he felt like he chose the wrong friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, I hope you're liking it!


	3. Chapter Three: Charming, June 1, 1996 -First Day of Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jax and Becca get Tara to the bus station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, not beta'd. All mistakes are mine.

The following morning found Jax at Tara’s place sitting on his bike as Becca came squealing up in her beat to hell Honda. She stuck her head out the window. “Am I on time?”

He looked at her. She was still in the same clothes she had been wearing yesterday and looking a little worse for wear. “Yeah. Have you even been home?”

She flipped him off. “No business of yours if I have or haven’t. Dad.”

Before he could think of a comeback, Tara emerged from her house, a suitcase in each hand. When Tara’s Dad came out behind her, Becca leaned out of her car. “Don’t worry about it Mr. Knowles, we’ll get Tara to the bus station.”

Mr. Knowles nodded to Becca and leaned over, giving his daughter a hug good-bye before going back into the house.

Becca looked at him. “Don’t be an asshole Teller, go help her with the bags. You can put ‘em in here and then she can ride with you to the station.”

He rolled his eyes. He had already gotten off his bike to go help Tara. “Whatever bitch.” He was a little hung over himself so he really wasn’t in the mood for Becca’s crap this morning.  
As he was walking up the driveway to Tara he could hear Becca. “Better say that with respect Teller. I’ve earned that title.” She was laughing. 

He counted to ten as he looked at Tara’s pleading look. He knew she was asking him to be the bigger person. He gave her a kiss as he took the suitcases. “If she wasn’t your friend…”

Tara laughed a little. “You’d still be as confused about her as you already are.” He blinked a little at that statement, wondering what his girlfriend meant.

He tried to shrug with the bags in his hands. When he put the bags in Becca’s car, the girl looked at Tara. “You got everything? Bikini…make-up…sex toys?” She gave Tara a grin.

Tara turned bright red. “Rebecca Madison McAllister, not everyone is the sex crazed pervert you are.” He was trying very hard to ignore the conversation because as a seventeen-year-old boy, he got a hard on if the wind blew the right way, and the last thing he needed was a raging hard on while trying to give Tara a lift to the bus station.

Becca shrugged. “How too bad for them.” Then rolled her eyes at Tara. “And don’t act like you’re still a trembling virgin, because I know you’re not.” He walked back to his bike. He needed to not hear any more of that conversation. He wasn’t sure how much Becca actually knew and was sure that he was uncomfortable with her knowing any of it. But he wasn’t quite sure why. That wasn’t true, he knew exactly why. He really didn’t want to be a target for Becca’s rapier wit any more than he already was, and her knowing about his sex life was more ammunition for her, and that made him highly uncomfortable.

When they reached the bus station, Becca helped to get Tara’s suitcases out of her car and then gave Tara a tight hug. “Try to have fun, be safe, and I’ll see you when you get back.” Then grinned. “Or who knows? Summer is the time for road trips.” She gave Tara another squeeze. “I’m gonna go. Think I hear my bed calling.”

Once Becca drove off, he carried Tara’s bags into the station and stayed with her until her bus was called.

He gave her a hard, long kiss. “Love you Tara. Call me when you get there. I miss you already.”

Tara was starting to cry as she kissed him back. “Love you too. Be safe.” Then she turned around and got on the bus.

He stood there until he could no longer see the bus, not wanting to go home until he knew she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying it!


	4. Chapter Four: Charming, June 1, 1996 – First Day of Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes haywire, at least for Becca and Jax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, not beta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Jax finally made his way to his own house, to do exactly what Becca was going to do, go back to bed. What point was there to summer if you couldn’t sleep until noon? Clay and his Mom had said they’d give him the first week and then he’d have to start working at T-M, so he was going to take advantage of it.

As he turned onto his block, he was greeted with the sight of an ambulance and Charming police cars in front of Becca’s house, three doors down from his. Sad to say, it wasn’t an unusual sight. He stopped when he saw Unser and the paramedics come out of the house. The ambulance drove off. Without it’s lights, which was a little weird. Usually when they left the McAllister house, the lights were on.

Unser walked over to him, he turned his bike off. “What’s going on, Mrs. McAllister have another ‘episode’?” Which meant either Becca’s Mom called 911 spouting some crazy shit or Mrs. Jensen had called the cops because of some racket coming from the house, where they usually found Mrs. McAllister either messed up enough to take in for a psych hold or totally wasted.

Unser shook his head sadly. “Are you friends with the McAllister girl?”

He got an ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Not really.” He tried for levity. “She tolerates me. Which I suppose makes me her friend compared to most people. Why?” And on some levels, that was true. Other than what was absolutely necessary for the bare minimum of human interaction, she ignored most of the people not only in school, but in town. He couldn’t blame her on some levels, Charming was a small town and she knew that most knew what went on in her house to a degree. Even if some tried to help keep that shit quiet. He knew for a fact that Unser tried to handle all calls to the McAllister residence. And if anyone knew how to keep their fucking mouth shut it was Unser.

Unser put a hand on his shoulder. “She called 911 about twenty minutes ago. Came home and found her Mama on the couch. She’d been dead since sometime last night from what I can tell.” Unser looked at him. “Do you know if anyone has any idea where her Daddy went?” He was surprised that Unser was asking him.

He shook his head. He had no idea. Neither Becca nor Tara ever talked about Becca’s Dad. And he’d never even thought to ask. He wasn’t sure if the man was even alive. “No idea. Maybe Mom would know. Do you want me to call her and have her come over here?” 

Unser nodded. “Yeah, I gotta call the coroner.” The man sounded like there were other things he wasn’t saying.

He patted Unser on the shoulder. “I’ll run on home and call Mom.” He started his bike back up and rode the few short yards to his own driveway. Parking his bike and getting into the house, he picked up the phone and called the garage.

His Step-Dad answered the phone. “Teller-Morrow Automotive.” The man sounded bored as hell.

“What are you doin’ answering the phone? Where’s Mom?” He was trying to sound calm and collected but he was actually starting to freak out a little.

Clay snorted. “She’s settling a dispute between croweaters.” Then chuckled. “You know son, Prospects aren’t allowed to cry on Mommy’s shoulder when their girlfriend goes away for the summer.”

He sighed. “Funny. Becca McAllister came home this morning and found her Mom dead on the couch. Unser thought Mom might have some fucking clue about any other family or where the hell her Dad is.”

“Fuck.” Clay’s voice became serious. “I’ll get her right over there. How’s the girl?” 

“I don’t know. She was inside. Just saw the paramedics and Unser.” He was a little ashamed that he hadn’t even asked Unser how she was. He had to admit he had a hard time picturing her any way other than flippant and full of bravado. Or maybe it was just easier for him if that was the only way he saw her. It always kept her just out of his reach. Or maybe him out of hers.

Clay grunted. “Unser say anything else?” He knew what Clay was askin’.

“No. Just said Becca found her on the couch.” He took a breath. “Didn’t see any blood on Unser or the paramedics.” So hopefully her death had been a peaceful one. From what little he really knew, he thought she deserved at least that.

“I’ll go send your Mom over. Tell Unser to call me and we’ll get the kid’s situation worked out.” He knew that wasn’t a suggestion from a step-parent, it was an order to a Prospect from his President.

“Okay.” He hung up the phone and headed back out the door, not bothering to take his bike. He lit a cigarette as he walked down towards her house. As he walked by the Jensen’s, he could see the old woman peeking out behind her curtains. She gave him a dirty look as he blew smoke in her direction. He wasn’t sure who the old biddy hated more, his family or Becca and her Mom. As far as he was concerned the old woman could go fuck herself. He was pretty sure the woman was the basis of most of the rumors about Becca and her Mom came from.

Unser was still standing by his cruiser when he walked up to the house. He nodded to the police chief. “Clay said for you to call him about Becca’s situation.” Then took a step towards the house, but Unser stopped him.

“She asked to be left alone until the coroner got here.” Unser gave him a sad smile. “It’s been just the two of them for quite a while, just think she needs a little time to say her own good-byes without a bunch of other people gawking at her.” 

He nodded. He didn’t like it, but he was a little relieved that by the time he would have to face Becca there would be strangers around so he was sure she would keep her shit together, she had that kind of pride. “Mom’s pulling up.” They watched her pull up behind Unser at the curb.

Unser smiled a little. “Kid, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Miss Becca’s been takin’ care of herself for a long time now, not to mention her Mama. She may tell Gemma to go fuck herself.”

His Mom stepped out of her car. “I heard that Wayne.” She came over and gave him a hug which he wasn’t totally ashamed to admit he needed. When she let him go, she leveled a knowing look at the chief. “And she can tell me to go fuck myself all she wants, it’s not gonna stop me from helpin’ her do what needs to get done. No seventeen-year-old needs to have that shit completely on their shoulders.” Then his Mom smiled. “Just gotta know how to handle her Wayne.”

Unser shrugged and went back to leaning on his cruiser. When his Mom raised an eyebrow, Unser looked at her. “She asked to be left alone until the coroner’s van gets here.”

His Mom gave a mocking nod. “So that’s why that kid is sneaking into the house from the back?”

Unser shook his head and started towards the house. This time it was him reaching out a hand, stopping the police chief. “It’s more than likely Tyler. Let them be.” If she was going to allow anyone to comfort her, it would be Tyler. At least that was his guess. He really only saw the bantering ‘us versus the world’ part of their friendship.

His Mom and Unser shrugged but went along with it. 

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA

After the coroner’s van left, things had gotten a little ugly but in the end an accord was reached. Becca was adamant that she was going to file for emancipated minor status until she turned eighteen at the end of the summer. She’d been taking care of everything since she was eleven when her Mom had totally lost it and she sure as hell didn’t need to be looked after.

His Mom and Unser were just as adamant that shit wasn’t gonna fly with social services who were sure to get involved until her status could be dealt with.

Becca had made the offer that she would stay in her house and Gemma and Unser would be allowed to check in on her. But Unser had gently pointed out that until how her mother died was determined, she wouldn’t be allowed to stay in the house. He was sure it wouldn’t be more than a few days.

Then Becca had offered up that she stay over at Tyler’s. He’d moved into his own place at the beginning of the month. 

His Mom had laughed at that idea, stating that Tyler’s ability to keep a handle on her were probably close to non-existent. None of them even tried to argue that with Gemma. 

His Mom offered their guest room, which to be honest didn’t thrill him. He wasn’t sure that he would be able to battle that little crush that never seemed to go away. Especially with Tara gone most of the summer. He shouldn’t have worried, Becca rejected that out of hand.

Gemma finally got frustrated. “Fine. Stay at the clubhouse until you can get back in here. Then you check in with me in the morning and before you go out at night so I know where to start looking if you try to disappear. And I also see you eat at least one meal a day. You may have been taking care of things honey, but obviously food wasn’t a priority. You’re too fucking skinny.” He was sure that his Mom thought Becca would balk at the idea of staying at the clubhouse and end up at the house.

Becca thought about it for a moment. “Fine.” Then she looked at Unser. “I’ll go get a bag together.”

So, he now found himself riding shotgun in Becca’s Honda, following his Mom back to T-M and SAMCRO’s clubhouse.

He had tried to talk to her, but she leaned over and turned the stereo in the car up. He didn’t recognize the band, but did recognize this was her way of not talking to him. 

When they got to the lot, his Mom got out of her car and walked back to them. “Stay here while I go fill Clay in and get a room ready for you.”

The second his Mom was out of sight, Becca leaned over him, reaching towards the glove box. He held his breath, just a little, trying to ignore the heat in his belly. When he looked down, he could see down the back of her shirt. She wore no bra, and wasn't that just hot as hell? Tara always wore a bra. Always.

She got it opened and reached in for what looked like a tin that cigarillos came in. Pulling it out she sat back up and he started breathing again. She opened it and took one out and he could smell the weed.

He glanced at her, a little astonished she'd just light up in the clubhouse parking lot. She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "What?"

He shrugged. "Little public don'tcha think?" Then hastily added. "And maybe not the best idea before you deal with Clay and my Mom."

She shook her head. "Not really an incentive to not light up, Teller. I think high is a really good way to deal with those two." But she had put the blunt down and reached for her regular smokes. "They know you get high, right? You are a Prospect."

He smiled just a little. "It's ten-thirty in the morning."

Her lips quirked just a twitch. "On a Saturday."

He sighed and looked at the ceiling of her car. "You always have to get the last word with me, don't you?" He knew he was taking advantage of her sleeplessness, of the emotional shock she had just been delivered, but goddamn, for once he just wanted her to be straight with him. "Why?" He felt slightly grimy doing it, so he couldn't bring himself to look over at her.

For what seemed like an eternity, the only sound in the car was the sound of her smoking her cigarette. He couldn't take it any longer so he turned and found her looking at him, not with the usual vaguely amused, not quite contempt, but with a thoughtfulness that made him feel more exposed than if he'd been sitting there stark fucking naked.

"Because someone has to; because everything is so goddamned easy for you that you need at least one person in your life who..." She smiled, and it wasn't cruel. Just like what she was saying may have sounded that way, but didn't feel that way. It felt caring. In a really, really, fucked up way. "Confounds your expectations at every turn." She shook her head. "And I know not everything has been easy, but, man, Jax..." He met her eyes and for the first time ever he saw the vulnerability in them and he just ached. "It all just seems to go right off your back." She straightened a little, a little of her usual bravado back. "You should be as fucked up as I am, and you're not, so maybe I just feel the need to shake your world a little." 

Holy shit. Not once did she look away from him, or look ashamed for exposing that chink in her armor. How in the fuck was he supposed to respond to that? He wasn't even sure how he felt about it yet other that the mildly electrocuted feeling he was getting from her letting him in for just that one second. That feeling where you're a little in pain, a little nauseous, a little tingly, and wholly alive.

The two of them were so wrapped up in the moment, that neither of them noticed Clay and Gemma coming up to the car until his Mom knocked on the window, almost breaking the spell. He nodded at her. "I'll get back to you on that."

She shrugged and then got out of the car. He followed, ignoring the slight smirks on both his Mom and Clay's faces. Becca looked at the two of them like a prisoner being led to the gallows.

Clay tried to break the tension. "Sorry to hear about your Mom sweetheart."

Becca shrugged. "Bound to happen sooner rather than later." Her tone making it clear her mother was a topic that was off limits.

Clay nodded. "Here's the deal. Social Services will be here first thing Monday. You will be here the rest of the weekend. No runnin' off to wherever it is you run off to." Clay then softened his tone. "Wayne called in a lot of favors for you not to be handed over to Social Services today."

Becca nodded, the gallows look on her face lessening some. "Yeah. I know. I won't fuck him over. He's kept them off my back for longer than I think I'd care to know."

Clay arched an eyebrow. He was pretty sure he was gonna have to warn all of them that Becca was way smarter than she looked and insanely perceptive to top it off. Clay smiled a little. "Glad you see it that way." His step-father looked over to his mother. "Gemma's got a couple of girls getting a room ready for you, so while we're waitin', why don't we lay down a couple ground rules.”

Becca leaned back on her car. “Lay them on me.” She looked as tired as she sounded.

Clay gave her a slight smile. “Your ass stays here. If you leave, Jax or some other member goes with you.” The smile left his step-father’s face and Clay’s tone was both more serious and more conciliatory than before. “And you let us help you with everything that needs to be done with your mother’s passing.” Clay paused for a moment. “Unless you think your Dad will be comin’ back.”

“He died three years ago.” Becca’s voice was nearly a whisper. “Died fighting a warehouse fire back in Texas. We were on all the insurance stuff for him.” Becca looked over to his mom. “He never divorced her.” Becca’s voice started to shake just a fraction. “I just think he couldn’t live with the weight of her grief and his guilt.”

He was having a little trouble following, but he had the feeling that Becca was referring to the death of her younger brother when they were eight. He knew that there had been a car accident and that her mother had been driving, but he’d always been under the impression that another driver had been at fault, a teenager that hadn’t driven in dense fog before. Becca’s mother had been the lone survivor, and she had been hospitalized for nearly a month, most of that in a coma due to a head injury. But the way Becca was speaking, it sounded like her Dad had played a part. Jesus, like the girl didn’t already have enough fucked up in her life.

“So, no, my Dad won’t be showing up.” He looked back to Becca, who had decided to throw caution to the wind and light that blunt. He nearly turned and started to bang his head on the roof of her car. Mostly so he wouldn’t be tempted to throw up his hands and start yelling at her. What the fuck did she think she was doing? Yeah, his Mom and Clay were cool and all, but damn, right in the middle of the fucking parking lot?! Becca blew her hit out and went on. “And you guys were at Grandpa’s funeral a few years ago. It’s just me.”

His mom took the blunt out of Becca’s hand, took a hit and then put it out. “I don’t give a fuck if you toke, just save it for the clubhouse, yeah?” Then stepped up to Becca and pulled the girl into a tight hug, not seeming to care that Becca was as stiff as a board. “And it’s not just you. You heard Clay, we’re gonna help you through all this shit. I know they loved you, but darlin’, they both forgot they had another kid to live for, and it’s time for you to stop carryin’ their bags.” His mother let Becca go, but stayed right up in her space. “Maybe if you let us help get some of that shit off your shoulders you’d stand up straight.” Giving Becca a smirk as she stepped back to Clay’s side.

“Doubtful.” Becca shook her head, looking more than a little dazed. “And I really don’t know what to say.” She gave him a sideways glance. “Which may be a first, but I suppose thanks is in there somewhere, and I won’t fuck you over before Monday, and maybe the rest waits until my head has stopped pounding and I get some sleep.” She ran a hand through her hair and he could see the tremor. “I got a couple of hours before I had to get to Tara’s, but I think more wouldn’t hurt.”

And on that note, she started to pitch forward and would have fallen into his Mom and Clay if he hadn’t grabbed her around the waist, hauling her into his side. He noticed she was starting to shake. “Hey, Becca, you okay?” Both his Mom and Clay had moved towards them.

She shook her head just a little. “Pretty sure I’ve hit a wall.” He couldn’t see the look on Becca’s face, but he could read the expressions on his Mom and Clay’s. And he could see that Becca was as close to breaking as the girl had probably ever been.

His mother reached out and extracted Becca from his side. “C’mon sweetheart. Let’s get you to your room.” Wrapping an arm around Becca’s shoulders and heading towards the clubhouse.

Clay nodded towards the car. “Why don’t you grab her bags and get them up to the room, I’m sure she’s gonna want them as soon as she’s awake.” Clay nodded towards the clubhouse. “Your Mom put her down at the end of the dorms.” Clay started to walk towards the clubhouse. “And just to be clear,” Clay turned back towards him. “She is your responsibility while she’s here at the clubhouse.” Then Clay took off.

He shook his head as he gathered the bags from the car. He fucking hoped that Clay wouldn’t mention that nugget to Becca; he could just see her pull shit to make his life difficult.

As he walked through the clubhouse, he saw Clay standing with Tig, Bobby and Otto. The three men looked solemn as Clay was speaking, nodding here and there, shooting glances back at the dorms. He nodded to the four of them as he passed by on his way back to the dorm room Clay said his mother set aside for Becca.

When he reached the room, the door was still open a crack. Spying inside, he saw Becca was already in the bed, his mother pulling the blanket up over her. “Darlin’, you need to sleep.”

Becca rolled over in the bed, looking towards the door. “Need my bags.” She sounded small and tired and broken, and he wasn’t sure he could handle that. The Becca he was used to was larger than life, full of sass and excess energy.

He heard his mother give a frustrated sigh. “What could be so important that you have to have your bags right now?”

“Nothing. I just want to know where they are.” Now that was the Becca he was used to.

Through the open crack of the door he saw his mother sit down on the side of the bed by Becca. Running a hand through Becca’s hair, his mother sighed again, but this one was almost sad. “No one is going to mess with your stuff, I’ll make sure it gets in here.”

“’Kay.” Becca was dropping off.

His mother gave Becca’s shoulder a small squeeze as she stood up. When she reached the door, he opened it. His mother didn’t look surprised to see him. “Just set them inside.” She whispered.

After dropping the bags inside the room, his mother closed the door. He expected her to start towards the main clubhouse immediately, so he was a little thrown when his mother pulled him into a massive hug. “I love you, Jackson.” Finishing the hug with a kiss on his cheek.

He huffed out a little laugh. “Love you too, Mom. What the hell was that for?”

His mother flipped him off and then leaned back on the hallway wall, shaking her head. “Because I’m your mother and I can.” Then in a softer voice. “And after that little chat? If I die tomorrow, you’re going to know that I love you.” His Mom looked nearly heartbroken. “Because that little girl firmly believes that she’s been an afterthought for a decade.”

He just stared at his mother. He knew things were not good for Becca, but to feel like you meant nothing to your Mom and Dad? And still keep your shit relatively together? He couldn’t even begin to fathom that. 

His mother nodded like she knew what was going on in his head. “Yeah.” His Mom hugged him again. “Let’s go out to the main clubhouse.” She looked back at the dorm room Becca was currently inhabiting. “She’s probably going to sleep for a while, she’ll come out when she’s ready.” Taking him by the arm and leading him away.

He looked back to the door for a second, hoping that at least Becca would sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying it. Please, please let me know what you guys think! I love hearing everyone's opinions!
> 
> The next chapter, which at the moment is scattered and full of tired gibberish, is from Becca's POV.


	5. Chapter Five: Charming, June 1, 1996 -First Day of Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becca wakes up from her nap and has some thoughts on her situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, not beta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Becca woke up in an unfamiliar room, getting her bearings, she let out a soft groan that was too close to a sob for her comfort. Swallowing hard, she sat up and took a look around the room, since this was going to be her ‘home’ for the weekend. It was functional, impersonal, like a run of the mill seventies motel room, because she’s pretty sure that’s when the carpet was installed. 

Throwing the blanket back and climbing out of the bed, she headed towards what Gemma had pointed out as the bathroom. After she peed and washed her hands, she decided she should probably find out how wrecked she looked. 

Looking up into the mirror, she wasn’t shocked she looked about like she felt. Awful. Her hair was nearly stuck to her head, her skin washed out and the circles under her eyes nearly looked like she’d been given two black eyes. She hadn’t slept much in the last week or so; with studying for finals, her mom, work, and blowing off steam; eating and sleeping had been lost in the mix. Her cheekbones standing at attention brought that home.

Going back out to the room, she finally saw a small digital clock. Holy shit, it was nearly six-thirty! She had actually slept for six hours straight! She can’t remember the last time she had done that. At home, she slept for a couple of hours at a time, making sure to get up and check on her mom, make sure the house was still standing.

The knot in her stomach tightened. Her mom wouldn’t need to be checked on anymore. She sat back down on the bed, trying to remember the last time she talked to her mom. Day before yesterday? It hadn’t been a good week for her mother, and it had been one of those conversations where all her mother did was apologize and cry, and she just sat there, reassuring her mother by rote. 

She can’t even remember if her mother had been out on the couch when she had popped into the house for a minute after ditching school and heading to Berkeley to work at the coffee shop. Closing her eyes to the god-awful carpet, she thinks back. No, her mother had been in bed, not out on the couch. The bile that was starting to crawl up her throat settles back down.

Grabbing her smaller bag, she heads back into the bathroom. It’s all beginning to sink in; she’s alone in the world now. Shedding the clothes she had been wearing since Friday, she turns the shower on and the second the water is nearly warm she steps in, because showers hide tears and sobs, and she needs to get some of that out before she has to put it back in the box so she can deal with other people.

By the time she’s done in the shower, the water has run cold. Turns out she had less tears than she had thought. Right now, she was feeling mostly relief; that a burden had been lifted. And guilt for feeling that way in the first place. This was her mother for fuck’s sake. 

Her stomach made a noise that if it had been in a movie, you might expect the alien to make its way free. She frowned down at it. “I’m getting there, settle down.” 

As much as she would love to remain holed up in this room and ignore the clusterfuck that was this situation in general, she needed food. She also needed her blunt container and it was in her car. And she needed to call a few people. Work and let them know what happened and that she wouldn’t be able to work her shift tomorrow morning. Tyler and let him know to not come here until she had figured out how douchey SAMCRO would be to the twink that is her bestie. And she needed to call Tara and let her know what happened, and no, Tara wasn’t to come back for whatever service she had for her mother. If she had one at all.

Her mother had no family left, not since Grandpa died. Her mother had lost every friend she ever had over the years, between the brain damage the accident caused and the PTSD that came with losing Ben, everyone had slowly faded away. Who would be there besides her and Wayne Unser? Ignoring the whispers in the back of her head that Gemma would probably make sure there was one whether she wanted it or not.

Getting dressed and putting on enough make-up to cover most of the dark circles, she lit a cigarette and tried to steel herself for going out to the main part of the clubhouse. This shouldn’t be hard. In general, SAMCRO had always treated her well when she ran across them. As Bobby told her not too long ago, the club remembers; remembers the time before everything went to shit and her parents were friends of the club.

But she already saw the looks as Gemma had walked her through the clubhouse earlier; their concern nearly tangible. And she probably wasn’t up for the dance she had to do with Jax to keep him at arm’s length and Tara’s. Not that he really was anymore. Even if Tara hadn’t said a thing, she was pretty sure that Tara was going to be staying in San Diego. The girl’s suitcases were just far too heavy for a summer trip. She was willing to bet her next paycheck that if she went through Tara’s room, she’d find a lot of things that signaled permanence gone.

Her sister of choice had put up a good front for Jax, but she knew Tara was ecstatic about getting out of Charming. Mr. Knowles drinking had gotten worse, and like her mother he was a maudlin drunk, and Tara wanted out. Yeah, Tara loved Jax, but not more than Tara loved the idea of not being in Charming. That girl had plans for her life and they didn’t include this small town and all that resided here. Tara didn’t want to be a SAMCRO old lady, Tara wanted to be a surgeon. She really hadn’t ever thought of the future much; she was too busy trying to navigate right fucking now all the time to even give thought to years down the road.

Finishing her cigarette, she sighed. She was gonna have to grow a set and go out there and face the club, and deal with this little dance of her and Jax’s, even if she was aware that the song had changed and he wasn’t. 

“Right, you can do this. Food, phone, and blunts from the car. Hour tops. Then you can come back and hide in here and have a big ol’ pity party.” Trying to get her usual bravado back. 

Sliding her feet into a pair of Chuck’s, she took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying it! I love hearing your opinions, so feel free to leave any comments, concerns, or constructive criticisms!
> 
> Thanks to those that have left kudos! They are much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying it. Drop me a line, let me know what you think! I reply to all comments!


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